Elon Musk’s black eye revealed to be part of “big, beautiful brawl” fight training

Hot off the back of last night’s clash with Donald Trump, Elon Musk has revealed that the black eye he sported last week was the result of a “training sparring session” with none other than his toddler son, X Æ A-12.

“I knew I needed a training partner who shared the same unpredictable, loud and emotionally volatile characteristics as Donald Trump. Then I saw my toddler throw a juice box at a wall and scream about bedtime. I knew he was the one.” said Elon, moments before icing his eye with a slab of lab-grown frozen beef.

Since the black eye made headlines, insiders claim Musk’s other children have now formed a rota system to take their shot at “helping Dad train.” If he’s still looking for sparring partners… we know a lot of people who’d be happy to help.