Donald Trump’s second NFT collection, Win Trump Prizes, has been released, allowing buyers to win a meeting with the former President, along with other rewards.
But for those who would rather shave their legs with a live shark than meet Donald Trump, his latest NFT means the threat of having to spend time with him has never been higher.
In response, Planet Crypto feels duty-bound to release its own NFT – Never Meet Trump – a solemn promise that you will never have to spend a moment with what critics have dubbed “the tangerine face that’s not a-peelin’ “.
The owner of the NFT will receive:
- Round the clock security detail that monitors for Trump’s presence
- A panic room in your home should he come within a 10 mile radius
- A mobile panic room that will be transported wherever you go
- Media screening to remove any possibility of you seeing him on television or social
- Surface-to-air missiles that will disable media satellites should media screening fail
- A cyanide pill implanted in your cheek so that, should all security measures fail, you have an option besides his unbearable presence
For men, the Never Meet Trump NFT guarantees to end the threat of being repeatedly called a “sad loser” by a bitter loser.
For women, the NFT also helps you avoid the possibility of him flirting with you by grabbing your genitals, asking you to pee on him in a Moscow hotel room, or worst of all, asking you to marry him.
For an up-front cost of just $2.3 trillion, we’re sure you can see the value this NFT represents given the unthinkable alternative.
