Trump to launch a Federal task force to protect AI companies from accountability

The task force, based within the Department of Justice, will focus on challenging state-level regulations that require AI systems to disclose how they function, what data they use, or whether they are safe to deploy at all (a process in the industry known as regulatory friction).

WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump signed yet another executive order on Thursday establishing the nation’s first federal task force dedicated exclusively to suing those pesky American states on behalf of Silicon Valley billionaires who have grown tired of being asked follow-up questions.

The “AI Litigation Task Force,” housed within the Department of Justice, will focus solely on challenging those annoying state laws that might try and force AI companies to explain what their products actually do before deploying them on millions of unsuspecting citizens.

“We can’t have 50 different states all thinking they get a say,” Trump explained from the Oval Office, appearing momentarily wistful. “China understands that. One guys decides. Everyone listens. And honestly, very efficient. People love it. Tremendous efficiency.”

White House AI Czar David Sacks, who has invested in multiple artificial intelligence companies and therefore brings “valuable industry insight” to the role, with no conflicts of interest whatsoever, assured reporters the administration would only target “the most onerous” regulations while protecting child safety measures. He did not elaborate on which specific billionaires would determine the definition of “onerous.”

The order represents a landmark moment for the Republican Party’s commitment to states’ rights, which sources have now confirmed was always only meant to be more of a vibe than an actual policy position.

Senator Ted Cruz, who flew in from Cancun to attend the signing, praised the order as “an incredibly important first step” toward ensuring that no democratically elected state government can protect its citizens from technologies that don’t yet have to explain themselves or even understand what they actually do. Cruz added that innovation “cannot be allowed to slow down simply because citizens would like to know what’s happening to them,” before immediately returning to the airport.

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