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A.I. Mustn’t Be Controlled By ‘Bad Actors.’”


After it was declared that A.I. could threaten humanity, if it fell into the hands of ‘bad actors’ – Jason Statham was placed under house arrest.

The ‘godfather of A.I.’, Geoffrey Hinton, formerly of Google, highlighted the danger of bad actors in a recent interview with the New York Times.  ‘Jason Statham is of particular concern,’ he noted. ‘In fact, he really sucks. As far as bad actors go – he couldn’t be worse. His C.V. is peppered with wooden acting and poor film choices. We can’t afford to have him in control, rasping orders like he’s got a tickly cough.’

Hinton insists that governments keep Mr Statham under strict observation.

‘If he was able to control A.I. – I’m sure it’d be REALLY dangerous – as he might use the advanced technology to replicate the plot of some of the shitty movies he’s been in.

I mean, no one wants to see advanced technology turning the plot of The Meg into a reality.

‘I, for one, do not want to see a giant prehistoric shark jumping out of the sea, and chomping a jumbo jet.’

He is not the only technical maestro pushing for immediate Government action.

Elon Musk even called upon other A.I. developers to pause their programmes, whilst poor cinematic performers were debated.

‘’The Rock’ should never have access to A.I. I’m sure he’ll use it to programme our TV schedules with repeats of Jumanji, 24/7. Life wouldn’t be worth living.’