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Crypto commentators gasped in astonishment at the audacious comments of Ava Labs’ CEO Emin Gün Sirer this week, after he said in an interview for that Sam Bankman-Fried had done ‘immeasurable damage’ to the Crypto industry.

One investor, Ed Gefund-Manager said, ‘I heard Emin’s comments, and now my chin is severely bruised after it violently hit the floor. When the once-$32bn-valued FTX went bankrupt, I thought that its CEO Sam Bankman-Fried was doing a good job. But thanks to Ava Labs’ brilliant and perceptive analysis, I realise that SBF may, in some way, have performed disappointingly. Perhaps Emin could answer me some of the other most baffling questions of the day: like ‘whether bears shit in the woods?’ I’m sure members of the ursine-family must defecate somewhere – but where? …I can only speculate. Perhaps they don’t like fouling forests, and have bear-Portaloos? Or perhaps they don’t excrete at all; perhaps their digestive systems are so efficient – that they absorb all the nutrients? I expect Emin will be able to inform us.’

Another, Ian Vestor, expressed gratitude. ‘That was wonderful analysis. Perhaps he can help with another question, which has always troubled me: ‘is the Pope a Catholic?’ I know the pontiff lives in the Holy See – but is he Wholly Christian? I suspect he might be Jainist? Or a member of one of those weird cults which worship Elvis Presley or the-recently-deceased Prince Phillip? Emin – please help!’

Planet Crypto’s own analyst, Andy Graff says, ‘This is exactly the kind of incisive analysis that the industry needs. Thank. You. Emin Gür Sirer… I wonder if he could also tell us whether Sherlock Holmes is constipated? Because I keep hearing the phrase ‘No Shit Sherlock?’ Maybe Emin has heard it before and can illuminate us?’

Before we know it – the Planet Crypto’s Crapties Awards will be upon us. And already SBF had done immeasurable damage to the industry.

A bear shit. To remind them that ‘bears DO actually defecate in the woods.’ Formerly known as the ‘No Shit, Sherlock’ Awards. These are Experts who state the obvious. People who say things like, the sky is blue, and FTX has performed disappointingly.

This week’s expert DID actually tell us that FTX had performed disappointingly. Emin Gün Sirer