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Proof of Attendance NFTs could make us extinct!

Speaking at VeeFest 2023, entrepreneur Gary Vee recently announced plans to be at the forefront of the NFT ticketing revolution, leading bullshitters around the world to fear the game is finally up.

“It’s a sad day”, sighed Des Seever, one of the six million bullshitters who claim to have attended Coldplay’s first gig in a church hall. “My whole persona is built around latching on to things people love and fantasising that I had a pivotal role. What am I supposed to do now? Actually go and support new bands who might turn out not to be megastars? Er, no thanks.”

The news was also a blow to veteran bullshitter, Al Blowsmoke, 78. “Woodstock, the fall of the Berlin Wall, Oprah giving away the cars, Elvis’ comeback special, I was there for all of them…. if by ‘there’ you mean watching on TV while working at a gas station. How am I supposed to impress strangers at the bar if I can only stick to facts? If I knew this was what the blockchain would be used for, I wouldn’t have been there when it was invented.”

Meanwhile, bullshitter T “Rusty” Ishoos, 57, was relieved that proof of attendance won’t be backdated, at least. “A framed white vest takes pride of place on my living room wall. For years, I’ve told people that Freddie Mercury handed me it at the end of Live Aid. Imagine having to admit that it’s actually my high school gym kit from the year I crapped myself doing star jumps. Thank God that secret will never get out.”