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Australian nerd Craig Wright wants to take the credit for the invention of Bitcoin, and asserts that he actually IS the mysterious Satoshi Nakamoto… But spookily, when asked to provide evidence …he can’t provide any… So: do we believe him… or not?

It’s time for another visit to his regular column in which he asks you to believe – or not – a fabulously fantastical tale…

Greetings, obsessives of the odd.

In the week of his 700th club goal, I want to share the remarkable story of Lionel Messi, the greatest footballer alive.

At 13, diminutive Lionel was diagnosed with a growth hormone deficiency that his family could not afford to treat. They uprooted their lives and left Argentina for FC Barcelona when the Spanish club agreed to pay for it. Still only 5’7 today, the Spanish media call Messi La Pulga Atómica (“The Atomic Flea”).

By 22, a grateful Messi had won his first Balloon d’Or with Barca, the award given to the best footballer in the world. He has since won it an incredible 7 times.

In his 21 years at Barca, Messi scored a record 474 league goals – a massive 163 ahead of his nearest rival.

Messi’s range of skills is unique, being widely considered one of the world’s best dribblers, passers, strikers, and creators.

In a 2014 survey, 87% of people around the world had heard of him. Yet he is known for being humble. Since the age of 11, Messi has marked every goal by pointing to the heavens – a tribute to his late grandmother who took him to matches.

In 2022, at his 5th attempt, Messi won the World Cup with Argentina, the only major trophy to elude him in a glittering career.

But the most remarkable part of Messi’s story is… I am Lionel Messi. Yes, I am the greatest footballer on earth. I’ve never mentioned it before because I’m so humble. I became the world’s highest paid sportsman as a way to relax from the stress of inventing Bitcoin, which I also definitely did. That’s why you never see me on a football pitch at the same time as Messi because I 100% am him. So that’s that mystery solved.

Until next time, collectors of the curious.