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Ribbit Robbit! Pepe, the Memecoin featuring a badly-drawn cartoon frog, has stolen a march on the markets – and threatens to have a market cap of $1billion… leaving TradFi scratching its head, and desperate to catch up.

Ed Less-Chicken, a fund manager at JP Moron said, ‘Clearly investors want childish amphibians on their financial products. So we’re going to try and reflect market demand with the JPM European Smaller Companies Kermit Trust. This is specialised stock-picking of entrepreneurial, diverse and under-researched companies by a felt-puppet frog. It’s an exciting opportunity for the risk tolerant investor. Who doesn’t mind occasionally being karate-chopped by a blond-wigged pig.’

Kermit was thrilled at the opportunity, ‘Smaller companies tend to outperform over the long term and play a key role in driving productive economic growth. And I will be looking for exposure to the lucrative Scandinavian market, whilst telling bad puns with Fozzy Bear.’

It seems Investors can rest assured that their monies will be in safe hands. ‘I think people tend to forgot how financially savvy Muppets are; if you remember I signed the celebrated  ‘rich and famous’ contract presented by Orson Welles. And going forward, thanks to stock picks from our Swedish Chef, we’ll be investing heavily in dynamic Scandinavian markets – which look set to explode. Only this morning, he recommended ‘Nerski Binski Bonski – er Die Chicken Ger Di Boom Boom.’ Which I didn’t understand. But I think means he sees opportunities in detonating chickens.’

It’s not the only short-tailed amphibious product on the market. 

Shitigroup promises investors will access unique proprietary investment strategies centered around capital markets solutions – with the Crazy Frog Exchange-traded Fund.

The Crazy Frog was available for comment. But we didn’t want to speak to it, because it’s too annoying.