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Head of dodgy asset accuses crypto of being a dodgy asset

Christine Lagarde rocked markets this week in an interview with Dutch television, when she attacked crypto assets as being ‘highly speculative, very risky assets’.

She is of course, an expert on dodgy assets, being in charge of a currency which barely survived the 2008 crisis, has fallen by 13% since the start of 2021 and is rapidly sinking towards parity with the dollar.

We at Planet Crypto read The Smallprint of her comments on digital currency…

CL: I have said – all along – crypto assets are highly speculative

* I have gone on and on and on and on and on.

CL: I have said Crypto assets are very risky assets

* whereas the Euro is a very predictable asset. It predictably goes down, down.

CL: My very humble assessment is that it is worth nothing.

* I’m underestimating slightly. As of November 2021 the crypto markets were worth nothing, apart from $1.03 trillion. Give or take a few billion.

CL: And worse, still, Crypto is based on nothing.

* Unlike fiat currencies, which are based on … er.. er… Ahem. Move on, please. Nothing to see here.

CL: My biggest concern is that people don’t understand crypto.

* These people are: Me, the ECB and the Federal Reserve. Frankly, I haven’t a clue what’s going on.

CL: I am concerned about people who have no understanding of the risks of Crypto, who will lose it all and who will be terribly disappointed.

* Just like they were with the Euro in 2007, when Greece fell over.

CL: Investors should know a Central Bank Digital Currency would be vastly different.

* Investors shouldn’t bother with a dodgy, untested digital currency which would lose them their savings …when they could have a digital, established Euro which will lose them their savings.

CL: The day when we have the Central Bank Digital Currency (CBDC), any digital euro, I will guarantee it.

* The day I guarantee it, you can guarantee many investors will run screaming. It’s a sorry indictment on people like Me, the ECB and the Federal Reserve that investors don’t trust the work of people like Me, the ECB and the Federal Reserve and the reason why they choose risky investments is to avoid the greater risk of having their money controlled by people like Me, the ECB and the Federal Reserve. Perhaps if people like Me, the ECB and the Federal Reserve did our job properly, then people might have spurned risky investments, and have entrusted people like Me, the ECB and the Federal Reserve to manage their money instead. Just a thought.

CL: So the central bank will be behind a CBDC. I think that is vastly different from any of those things.

* Yes, it would be vastly different. Because unlike conventional Crypto, a Central Bank would try and print more digital currency whenever it screws up.

CL: You should put your trust in the ECB, a secure institution.

* If you trust the ECB, you should be put in a secure institution. A psychiatric one with a padded room.

CL: Finally, I have never invested in crypto assets, but my son has.

* Why are you bothering to listen to what I’m saying about crypto, anyway? Even those closest to me think I’m not worth listening to.