View Daily Crypto Trends

Kardashian to carry health warning

Kim Kardashian is to wear a disclaimer ‘For entertainment only’ to remind people that she should not be taken seriously.

Along with a fine of $1.3m, the branding was part of a settlement reached with the U.S.’ Securities and Exchange Commission over her failure to disclose that an Instagram post recommending the failed Ethereum Max tokens was, in fact, a promotion she had been paid for.

A spokesman for the SEC told Planet Crypto, “In the same way that some children need an obvious warning on plastic bags not to fasten them airtight over their head, some inexperienced investors need to be reminded that just because Kim Kardashian has a famous ass, it doesn’t mean she has insight into complex financial instruments… In the same way that having insight into complex financial instruments doesn’t mean that Warren Buffett has an ass you want to see more of.’

‘ We hope that seeing ‘For entertainment only’ on her face will remind investors that any advice from Ms Kardashian should be given the same kind of credibility as if it was printed in a horoscope or squawked by a parrot.”

Whilst the warning printed on Kardashian should bring an end to her dispute with the SEC, she and former boxer Floyd Mayweather are still facing a class action lawsuit from investors who lost money on Ethereum Max.  Jackie Shine, the silver-tongued lawyer representing the celebrities, told Planet Crypto that investors should shoulder the blame.

“What sane person would take my client’s advice seriously? What sane person would think, ‘Oh, I see Kim has agreed lifelong marriage vows with a narcissistic, unstable, megalomaniac rapper… she’s clearly a person of impeccable discernment.’

“Hell, you just have to look at her face to know you can’t trust her. Kim’s lips are fake, her eyebrows are fake, her nose is fake, her cheekbones are fake – why would you take her advice at face value when you can’t even take her face at face value?”

“As for Floyd Mayweather, for 21 years this man’s job was to be repeatedly struck on the head. Is this the brain you take advice from? I asked him after a fight what he wanted to eat, and he said, ‘Tuesday.’ Now you’re mad at him for not understanding DeFi?“

Planet Crypto put it to Shine that this was unfair characterisation of boxers, perhaps to deny his client’s guilt. Another former boxer, George Foreman, is a respected businessman, for example.

“It’s true that George Foreman invented a grill. But do you know what he was trying to invent? A new type of quilt. I guarantee you that right now that George Foreman is at home, lying in a bed full of grills, wondering why he’s not comfortable.”

Since agreeing to wear the disclaimer, Kardashian has announced a sponsorship deal with a brand of TV sound bars called For Entertainment Only. The SEC is preparing its response.