Elon Musk has said that he wants Twitter to be like ‘a digital town square’. But what does he mean by that? Luckily, Planet Crypto has had access to Mr Musk’s head, where it overheard discussions between the two sides of this complicated, very rich, slightly bonkers man.
Good Elon Musk
@GoodElon
Good/bad entrepreneur who's wanting to make Twitter like a ``Digital Town Square``
Joined June 2009
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GoodElon @GoodElon
So, I want Twitter to be like a digital town square.
EvilElon @EvilElon
Ugh. That sounds all wet and wishy washy and sensitive and blah-blah-blah.
GoodElon @GoodElon
I just mean it should be a place where people meet to converse, pass the time of day… or swap ideas and discuss more complex issues. Sharing their knowledge and opinions as they search for the ineluctable truth about important matters.
EvilElon @EvilElon
Sorry, I feel asleep about 3% of the way through that sentence. Some rubbish about… talking?
GoodElon @GoodElon
If you like… basically, it should be a place of respect and friendly exchange.
EvilElon @EvilElon
You do realise that you now run Twitter and not some namby-pamby rural church?
GoodElon @GoodElon
I know that! I’m not an idiot.
EvilElon @EvilElon
Except when you call people paedos for no reason.
GoodElon @GoodElon
That’s you! It’s not me!
EvilElon @EvilElon
Believe what you like, mate. I can’t believe you think this ‘town square’ will be all gentle and nice.
GoodElon @GoodElon
Oh, no, I’m sure there’ll be disagreements and arguments… but they’ll be polite and respectful, affairs, complete with proper grammar and spelling.
EvilElon @EvilElon
So polite debate and discussion? That’s your schtick for this ‘town square’?
GoodElon @GoodElon
Essentially. And maybe there’ll be a nice stall in the corner selling artisanal bread and grotesquely over-priced cheeses.
EvilElon @EvilElon
So the cheese equivalent of a Tesla.
GoodElon @GoodElon
What?
EvilElon @EvilElon
Nothing. Anyway, I think I can live with your whole ‘town square’ thing.
GoodElon @GoodElon
You can?
EvilElon @EvilElon
Yeah. Because you’ve clearly not been to a town square since, like, 1875.
GoodElon @GoodElon
What do you mean?
EvilElon @EvilElon
Town squares these days are mostly hell-holes. Full of drunk, angry shouty people. Often pissing over everything.
GoodElon @GoodElon
Okay…
EvilElon @EvilElon
And that stall selling artisanal bread and cheeses? That’s now a kebab van selling meat you wouldn’t feed to your dog, with a free side order of salmonella.
GoodElon @GoodElon
Oh.
EvilElon @EvilElon
Which means we won’t have to change anything — because that’s pretty much what Twitter is right now! So I say let’s go with the digital town square thing.
GoodElon @GoodElon
It doesn’t sound as good now.
EvilElon @EvilElon
So maybe we should just demolish the square and put up some poorly built over-priced apartments…? Yeah, let’s do that instead.
GoodElon @GoodElon
I’m all sad now.
EvilElon @EvilElon
Serves you right, paedo.
