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Panic Index: Underpants

With global markets in turmoil these days, it’s hard to keep track of how worried we all should be. So Planet Crypto has come up with our own unique series of indices, making it easy for you to tell others quite how panicky you are about the wild fluctuations in your investments.

This week: The Underpants Index. What level of pants panic are you at?

  1. So clean they look brand new.
  2. It’s fine, I’ll just wear them inside out tomorrow.
  3. Actually, I think that smell’s coming from you. You must have trodden in something. It really isn’t me.
  4. No, those splodges are just part of the pattern.
  5. Uh-oh, gonna need a coffee-shop toilet rinse.
  6. Would you believe me if I told you they were brown when I bought them?
  7. Oh dear. But at least my bottom’s warm. For now.
  8. Call the army: I’m now basically a walking, squidging biological warfare attack.