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She has ambitions to become the Queen of the metaverse. And now Paris Hilton has added ‘Parisland’, an imaginary reality show to her roster, which already includes plans to recreate her Malibu mansion in the metaverse.

But will the public want to hang out there? And why?

“Of course, they will!”, insisted the socialite and heiress. “And for all the same reasons you people buy lottery tickets or watch TV: to escape your dreary life. In the metaverse, people I’d never normally be seen dead with (like you) will be able to able to join me at hot rooftop parties filled with all my celebrity friends. Obviously, you won’t actually be there. You’ll be in front of a computer in the box room where you keep the ironing board. But if it’s a pool party I’m hosting, maybe you could take your computer outside and stand in the rain? Would that feel like a pool party to you?”

Sure enough, fans of Hilton have already signed up and those that have already spent time in her metaverse praised its realism. “When the avatars of Paris and her friends looked over and sneered at my avatar, well, the mansion might be virtual, but the hot shame in my cheeks was as real as any final year Prom with some mean girls”, said Tracey Jacks, 25. “It was worth cancelling my cat’s kidney medicine for a month to pay for an experience I’ll never forget, no matter how much I try to.”

Hilton has plans to offer many more experiences in her metaverse, but fans hoping to recreate her infamous 2004 sex tape will be disappointed. “Unfortunately, graphics in the metaverse can’t compare yet to the quality of a 2004 camcorder”, said Paris. “We’re looking at another 25 years for that to happen.”