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Publicity-seeker Gensler attempts to break the internet by exposing his ass

In an effort to break the internet the Head of the SEC, Gary Gensler, is to appear on the front of The Paper magazine with his ass out.

Posing with a bottle of frothing champagne, he said ‘Kim Kardashian got loads of followers after showing her butt – so I thought I too would bare my bony ass with a big splume of champagne. These pictures will get me at least an extra 50 followers on Twitter.’

It comes at the end of a week when Gensler has been accused of using reality star Kim Kardashian for his own self-promotion. On Monday, he unnecessarily fined her £1.26m for her Instagram Crypto adverts. But Gensler hotly denies the accusations of publicity-seeking.

‘In no way am I trying to piggyback on Kardashian’s success. It’s entirely normal for the head of the SEC to announce a heavy punishment of a reality TV star just before the markets open on a Monday via his personal Twitter account.

And completely normal for him to keep checking his Twitter account every five minutes afterwards to see if he’s got any more followers.’

He then paused and said, ‘And it’s even more normal for him to pose in leather trousers with a bottle of champagne and his ass out, attempting to break the internet.’

When asked why he wasn’t getting on with the more serious business of creating a regulatory framework for the Crypto industry, he explained,

‘I simply don’t have the time. I’m much too busy pitching a reality TV show called ‘Keeping Up With the Gensler.’

Turning to leave, he said cheekily, ‘By the way – do you have Kanye West’s number? I’ve heard he might be single.’

Gensler’s publicity stunts have not ‘broken the internet’ yet. But many computers have been badly damaged, as members of the public punched their screens after seeing his face.