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Russian Blocks access to OKX Exchange; OKX Exchange to Apply to Become Part of NATO.

The Financial Industry reacted with dismay this week, after Russia blocked access to crypto exchange OKX.

The move has been met with dismay by OKX managers.

‘The Russians can’t do this!! We have to stop them. It’s important that the cryptocurrency exchange applies to become part of NATO as soon as possible.’

Their efforts may already be too late.

President Putin has declared that many of the OKX staff are native Russian speakers.

And he is to annex the upstairs offices as sovereign Russian territory.

Said one OFX worker, ‘He’s made referendums in Russian-occupied areas of the OKX exchange, and 103% of the voters said they were in favour of joining the Russian Federation.’

Said another, ‘The IT Department and Trading floors have already fallen. It’s only a matter of time before Accounts join them.’

President Putin has already signed formal documents to incorporate four areas of the OKX offices into Russia. At a political rally, he stated, ‘The IT department, Human Resources, Marketing and Staff canteen have always been part of sovereign Russia.’

 ‘We will defend our office space with all the powers at our disposal.’

Resistance is likely to be fierce, and there are rumours that Russian staff have already been forced to withdraw to the mailroom, as loyalist OFX staff reoccupy the typing pool. 

As the conflict escalates, Russians has mobilized more reservist office managers.  

Many Russian ancillary staff have already rushed to the border, trying to avoid the draft – as those recruits who have been called-up, have complained about ‘simply awful’ conditions.

‘There’s a lack of essential equipment. There are no paper-clips, and the photocopying machine is broken. It’s like the old adage: ‘the first casualty of war is office supplies.’

President Joe Biden has pledged millions of dollars of high-tech office chairs to the OKX team.