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Solana has become the most environmentally friendly blockchain...

On September 30th, Solana suffered its 8th outage in the past year when a misconfigured node stopped all transactions for 6 hours. But at Solana HQ, execs couldn’t be happier.

“The Ethereum killer strikes again!”, beamed CEO Anatoly Yakovenko. “We were using the much greener Proof of Stake consensus long before Ethereum. No sooner do they copy us than we go one step further and become entirely carbon neutral by simply not processing any transactions at all!”

“I like to think of Solana as the Rolls Royce of blockchains, and there’s nothing more environmentally friendly than a Rolls Royce that won’t start.”

The news was another cause for celebration in what Yakovenko believes has been a breakthrough year for his blockchain. In August, champagne corks popped at Solana HQ when 8,000 wallets containing SOL were hacked.

“It was evidence that SOL was finally worth stealing”, said Yakovenko. “And thank God, because it was starting to get embarrassing. Vitalek Buterin was always trolling me about hackers stealing his ETH, but no-one would touch my currency. I started to get deliberately casual about my wallet, posting the address on Twitter as a ‘come and get it’. One time I actually left my laptop on the porch and projected my seed phrase on the front door. A cat sniffed it, but that’s the closest it got to interest. So to wake up that morning and find that 8,000 wallets had been cleaned out… I felt like I’d won the lottery!”

Currently rated 9th by market cap, Yakovenko is confident that Solana can overtake its rivals.

“It’s simply a better product. Now if you’ll excuse me, I must go to the IT room. The network’s gone down and I have to switch it off and on again.”