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Day 31 under house arrest at Mom and Pop’s.

Wish they had updated my bedroom. I have to sleep under my old Harry Potter quilt in my SpongeBob pyjamas. So lame. I’m much more about World of Warcraft now. Mom says they can’t afford to buy me new pyjamas on account of spending $250 million on my bail bond which has to be my combined birthday and Christmas present for ever. Yawn.

It’s SO UNFAIR that my old FTX President has a new start-up. And the people behind 3AC want to start a new exchange too. Why can’t I have another go? I literally did NOTHING wrong! I messaged my lawyer to see if I can plead ‘Double or Quits’, but he says that’s not a thing. STUPID LAW. He says I should stop calling him and ask Mom these things first which is SO NOT MY FAULT because I did shout up the hall but she was in the kitchen cooking my Chicken Dinosaurs.

That poopy-faced poop-nose John J Ray says FTX could be revived after all. I’ve said ALL ALONG that the money is there, he just needs to find my accounting ledger. I’ve told him it’s written on the grease paper from a KFC box and it’s either in the footwell of my car with all the other crap, or it might have slipped inside the bean bag in my office. He says that’s not a proper accounting system, but what would he know, he’s like a BILLION years old.

Urgh, I have to go. Dad is calling me to mow the lawn because I have like a million chores now I’m living “under his roof”. So bogus. I wish I’d never bought him all those beach condos.