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AAAG! A.I. TERROR!!! : Tom Hanks Says Future Films Will Be Performed by A.I..

This week, Tom Hanks said that, because of A.I. technology he could keep ‘appearing’ in films long after he dies…

In many ways, this is OK. Because everyone likes Tom Hanks. But what about annoying actors like Vin Diesel and Jeff Bridges? Will we have to put up with them for ever and ever?

Movie fanatic Mo Shon-Picture warns, ‘This is why A.I. must be stopped. For all our benefits. I find the thought that Jeff Bridge’s body of work might continue for all eternity, frankly, chilling. I’ve often tried to comfort myself with the fact that one day, when Jeff Bridges finally karks it, he and his muttering would finally disappear from our screens. Now – thanks to A.I. he might be mumbling on and and on and on for All Time. I don’t know how I can find the strength to go on.’

He reserved greater terror for Vin Diesel’s avatar, ‘The fact that human-potato Vin Diesel might be disappointing our grandkids, their grandkids and their great-great-great-grandkids surely fills any sane person with dread.’

But not everyone was filled with gloom. A.I. sceptic Steven Naysayer had this to say:

‘Frankly – what is the point of A.I.? We don’t need A.I. to deliver robotic-performances-which-bear-no-resemblance-to-human-emotion: we already have Ben Affleck.’

Ben Affleck was available for comment. But he scuffed his lines and delivered them too unconvincingly for publication.