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Twitter is hiring!

Job title: Head of Censorship [Part time]

Who are we looking for?

Picture the scene. It’s Sunday dinner with the family. Weird Uncle Tony explains the school shooting he’s planning. Grandma claims that no-one Jewish died from Covid “and that can’t be a coincidence.” And then your son starts playing the revenge porn he made with his sister.

Are you the sort of person who pretends they haven’t heard and responds, “Can you pass the carrots?”

Then you could be the ideal candidate to implement Twitter’s soon-to-be-relaxed moderation policy.

As Head of Censorship, you’ll lead a team of zero people making sure that when it comes to hate, misinformation and the downright twisted, Twitter is happy to treat it all as free speech. Whether it’s a lonely keyboard warrior inciting violence or a President of the United States doing it, no tweet will put you off the game of Solitaire you’re enjoying in your office next to Elon’s.

Key skills:

  • Looking the other way.
  • Keeping yourself entertained.
  • Having no opinion on Hitler or Kanye West.


No previous, current, or future experience of censorship is necessary.


This post will be flexi-time. Very flexi-time. In fact, you don’t need to show up at all.


Elon will tip you off when he next plans to pump and dump Dogecoin. Get in on the action, baby.

To apply, please send a dick pic and a joke about disabled people to @elonmusk.