Who are we?
We’re Binance, the world’s largest cryptocurrency exchange. You don’t need to know anything else. We don’t ask our customers any questions and neither should you.
What are we looking for?
Our easy-going approach to trading, in particular not questioning where the money has come from, has attracted an exciting new partnership with both the United States Department of Justice and Internal Revenue Service (IRS). That’s why we are urgently looking to appoint a Head of Shredding.
As the leader of a large team of document shredders, “managing” our paperwork, you’ll have:
- Some idea of the trouble we’re in.
- Better knowledge than us of money laundering regulations.
- Experience with the very fastest document shredders.
- A Health and Safety Certificate in Bonfire Management.
- A 6th sense about when the IRS are coming.
Key skills:
- Working under pressure.
- Lying under oath.
- Hiding stuff under your mattress.
Salary:
4 Bitcoins per year (equates to somewhere between $80,000 and nothing, depending on market conditions)
Please send a shredded copy of your CV to Binance, Department of Money Laundering and Tax Evasion, The Cayman Islands.
