Article Type: Planet Crypto
PLANET CRYPTO TO LAUNCH NEVER MEET TRUMP NFT
Donald Trump’s second NFT collection, Win Trump Prizes, has been released, allowing buyers to win a meeting with the former President, along with other rewards.
GENSLER TO BE PUT IN CHARGE OF CLOSING STABLE DOORS
This week, SEC’s Gary Gensler has been put in charge of regulating America’s stable doors and deciding when they should be shut
$5BN OF LOST ASSETS FOUND IN SBF’S HAIR-HEDGE
Defrauded FTX customers celebrated today, after assets to the value of $5 billion were found in Sam Bankman-Fried’s hair.
EXPERTS’ CONSENSUS: ‘F*** KNOWS WHY THE MARKET’S GONE UP’
SBF TRIAL – DENIES STEALING, BY STEALING ‘NOT GUILTY’ PLEA
FTX’s founder, SBF, accused of stealing funds to shore up his flagging Almeda co., now stands accused of stealing a ‘not guilty’ plea to flag up his flagging fraud defense.
TRUMP TRADING CARDS No. 11 SWAMP THING
They’re the new Donald Trump NFT Collectibles! Which Superhero does he see himself as today…? ‘No. 11. THE SWAMP THING!!!’
TRUMP TRADING CARDS No. 12: CAPTAIN-FREEDOM-FROM-REALITY
They’re the new Donald Trump NFT Collectibles! Which Superhero does he see himself as today…? ‘No. 12. CAPTAIN FREEDOM-FROM-REALITY!!’
ON THE ELEVENTH DAY OF CRYPTO... Donald Trump!!!
Now, everyone loves a juicy satsuma or tasty tangerine at Christmas time… and so for the Eleventh Day of Crypto-Christmas, we’ve got the human equivalent of one of those — well, in skin-colour anyway.
ON THE SEVENTH DAY OF CRYPTO… GARY GENSLER
On the Seventh Day of Crypto – my truelove gave to me… the Head of the SEC. Given the fact that the SEC have done nothing to prevent the Crypto-carnage of the past year.
ON THE SIXTH DAY OF CRYPTO… DO KWON!!
On the Sixth Day of Crypto, my truelove didn’t give me six geese a-laying – but she did potentially give me a bird… a jailbird. It’s Do Kwon. Who after his performance as the CEO of failed Terra this year, is more stuffed than all the world’s turkeys combined.
TRUMP TRADING CARDs No. 10 CRAPTAIN AMERICA.
They’re the new Donald Trump NFT Collectibles! Which Superhero does he see himself as today…? ‘NO. 10. Craptain America
TRUMP TRADING CARDs No. 9 WHITE PANTHER
NO. 9 White Panther. This is the Trump who dines with Nick Fuentes, Ye and calls racists at rallies in Charlottesville ‘very fine people.’
TRUMP TRADING CARDs No. 8 MR. FANTASTIC LOSER
Everybody knows he is the most Fantastic-est Loser in the world. Everybody knows.
TRUMP TRADING CARDs No. 7 CYCLOPS
Yes, the Donald would make an excellent Cyclops. Because a politician has never been more one-eyed.
ON THE SECOND DAY OF CRYPTO.. ELON MUSK!
He’s about as popular as Brussels sprouts right now, and his face is shinier than a Christmas bauble, it’s Elon Musk!
TRUMP TRADING CARDs NO. 6 JUDGE DREADFUL
This Trump constantly shouts ‘I am the Law!’ This is because he STILL thinks he’s the country’s leading lawmaker. Even when he voted out of office.
Trump Trading Cards No.5 COVFEFE!
We see him as a slightly overweight bloke who likes to sit on the toilet tweeting. But - hey. If he wants to play the ‘Make Him A Superhero’ game… let’s play
TRUMP TRADING CARDs No. 4 DOCTOR VERY STRANGE
Given his medicinal genius (the Donald told us all to drink bleach to cure Covid, remember?) he is Doctor Very Strange…
Trump Trading Cards No.1 The Incredible Bellend!
We see him as a slightly overweight bloke who would sit on the toilet all-day, tweeting. But - hey. If he wants to play the ‘Make Him A Superhero’ game… let’s play.