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Binance make a hash of Dutch operations

The Dutch Central Bank has fined Cryptocurrency exchange, Binance, 3.3 million Euros for operating illegally in The Netherlands. Binance had been warned previously by the Bank about its conduct but continued regardless.

“Holland isn’t the kind of permissive place where you can just do whatever you want”, explained the Bank’s Financial Officer, Maarten Van Der Tulip Niekirk.

“When I heard what Binance had been doing, I nearly fell off my prostitute. Our Chief Economist was so worried about the threat to economic stability, he had to roll a big bifter to calm down.”

Binance breached a requirement for crypto service providers to register with the Bank as part of anti-money laundering legislation.

“No-one knows where Binance is based, what is its structure, who are its customers, none of it! Not in my wildest mushroom-induced hallucinations could I have imagined such a breach of prudent financial practice”, added Van Niekerk. “That’s why we have to throw the book at Binance. It’s a book listing the sex dungeons of Amsterdam, so it’s pretty damn heavy.”

“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I am hosting the IMF this afternoon and I have hash cakes to make.”