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After months of seemingly doing nothing – except fining reality TV stars – the Chair of the SEC, Gary Gensler has started to play tough. In fact, so tough, he’s changed his name to ‘The Enforcer’ to reflect the SEC’s harsh new stance on crypto regulation.

His PA told Planet Crypto, “Gary felt that his name wasn’t really striking fear into people. I mean, Gary’s the name of a man who fixes your boiler, isn’t it? So for a while he changed his name to ‘Dirty Gary’ – after Dirty Harry – but that didn’t really scare anyone either. He just sounded like a man who’d fix your boiler then steal from your underwear drawer. So then he rebranded as ‘The Enforcer’ and it’s just sort of stuck.”

So much so that the man determined to bring crypto under his regulation no longer responds to any other name. “If I say, ‘Would you like a cup of tea, Gary?’, he won’t look up anymore”, explained his PA. “I have to say, ‘Would you like a cup of tea, The Enforcer?’, and then he’ll say, ‘That would be lovely, Denise. The Enforcer will have an Earl Grey, please.’ “

As part of his rebrand, The Enforcer has also adopted an uncompromising catchphrase. “He says, ‘Register or Die’ quite a lot now”, added his PA. “So if I say, ‘Sorry, Gary, I forgot, what type of tea did you say you wanted?’, he’ll say, ‘Earl Grey, Denise. Register or Die.’ It can be a bit intimidating sometimes”, she admitted, “but I get comfort from the fact I can still see the old Gary in there and lots of things he still does the same as before. Like he still keeps his pens in a Charlie Brown pencil case and he still cries when he forgets his email password. Bless him.”

When asked to comment, The Enforcer asked Planet Crypto to “Register or Die.”