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Regulation Shambles!! Why Is SEC So Keen To Drive Everyone Offshore?

Crypto exchanges are piling overseas, because of the actions and inactions of the SEC.. so why IS Gensler so keen on driving lucrative crypto exchanges abroad?

We can think of no reason – other than that Gary Gensler, Chair of the SEC is moonlighting as a Travel Advisor working on commission.

But when questioned, Gensler was irate,

‘Don’t be ridiculous. I’m not a travel agent.

‘I can’t help it if the legislation in Bahamas is more lax than ours. Nor can I help it if the Ripple staff might enjoy the Aquaventure Waterpark, the Luxury Beaches, or the excellent premium air-conditioned hotels of the Carribean at only $8000 for 14 nights,’ he fumed, before adding, ‘…But the Ripple staff had better get in quick, because JetBlue’s special flight deals only extend till the end of the month.’

But what about Europe? Isn’t he aware that he’s making Europe a more attractive destination for Crypto Exchanges?

‘Europe may seem crypto-friendly. MiCa has a clear regulatory framework, which you will not find in the United States. But we can’t rush this. And Americans have to recognise that exchanges like Coinbase may be attracted to Europe’s excellent culture and history. And fine dining. They’ll find everything they want in Europe. From the Greeks and the Romans, to thrilling nightlife of Berlin… I’m sure Americans will understand how Coinbase’s CEO Brian Armstrong, might be attracted to the excellent European packages starting at only $5000. If they want to join him, they’d better get in quick, as these deals are selling fast.’

He went on to explain that Crypto is a high-risk investment, that needs legislation to be drawn up at torturously slow and meticulous rate.

‘The American government feels a greater responsibility towards the individual. They need protection. Maybe America isn’t the place for High-risk, Adventurous exchanges. Perhaps it’s understandable that firms like Binance might prefer the untamed wilderness of Kazakhstan. I’m sure CZ and his team would love to go abseiling down the Charyn Canyon in one of our ThrillSeeker packages.’

The head of the SEC then promised to send-us-once-a-week last-minute luxury-holiday deals by spam email.

The Travel Channel’s Samantha Brown was unavailable for comment.