In 2021, El Salvador’s President Nayib Bukele made Bitcoin legal tender in the country, and invested a significant amount of his Government’s money in the cryptocurrency.
Since then the price of Bitcoin has crashed and with it the El Salvadorean economy, making President Bukele one of the few people in the world who Liz Truss can point and laugh at.
But the President has plans to turn the economic situation around — and Planet Crypto was lucky enough to be granted an interview with him in which he explained those plans.
PC:
Mr President, thank you for talking to us.
President Bukele:
My pleasure. Now, how much Bitcoin do you want to buy off me and at what inflated price?
PC:
We don’t want to buy any Bitcoin off you.
Bukele:
Damn. Still, worth a try.
PC:
We want to hear your plans to turn your economy around.
Bukele:
Yes, well, I’ll admit it: maybe Bitcoin wasn’t my best idea. But with the new direction I’m taking, our economy will soon be stronger than ever. For example, I shall double our health budget this year.
PC:
That sounds impressive.
Bukele:
Yes. If the New York Giants beat the Seattle Seahawks this coming weekend.
PC:
What?
Bukele:
I’ve bet the health budget on the Giants winning by 5.
PC:
What if they don’t?
Bukele:
Then don’t get ill until next year! No, really, don’t. I have plans for other departments too. For example, the old age pension will go up next month.
PC:
I sense an ‘if’ coming.
Bukele:
If Grandpa’s Dream wins the 3.20 at Kempton Park next Tuesday. But it will win! I mean, look at the name: Grandpa’s Dream. If that’s not a pension-rise winning horse, then I don’t know what is.
PC:
Don’t you have any more… sensible ideas?
Bukele:
Of course. For example, to ensure the army is properly funded, every soldier will be given ten US dollars next week.
PC:
A boost to their pay in a robust currency. Good idea.
Bukele:
Exactly. Then we will parachute the soldiers into America, where they will use their $10 to buy lottery scratch cards, using the winnings to pay for new equipment.
PC:
Right.
Bukele:
Plus to fund our Foreign Office, I’ve cornered the market in raffle tickets for the Chipping Norton Women’s Institute Winter Fair. Chipping Norton’s a very affluent area — bound to be some good prizes there! I’ve got the cream of the country’s academics frantically trying to win cash prizes on pub trivia machines around the world; the Police department is engaged on an important operation involving online poker; and I personally am going to the United Nations in New York where I’ll do that con-trick with the three cups and a ball and win loads of money off those sucker diplomats.
PC:
You’ve clearly thought it through.
Bukele:
Yes, but not nearly enough.
PC:
And what if these plans don’t work and your economy’s even worse off?
Bukele:
Then in that case I’ll just take next year’s Gross National Product, take it to Vegas and shove it all on red. Can’t fail!
PC:
President Bukele, thank you very much.
