Category: Uncategorised

ON THE SEVENTH DAY OF CRYPTO… GARY GENSLER

On the Seventh Day of Crypto – my truelove gave to me… the Head of the SEC. Given the fact that the SEC have done nothing to prevent the Crypto-carnage of the past year.

ON THE SIXTH DAY OF CRYPTO… DO KWON!!

On the Sixth Day of Crypto, my truelove didn’t give me six geese a-laying – but she did potentially give me a bird… a jailbird. It’s Do Kwon. Who after his performance as the CEO of failed Terra this year, is more stuffed than all the world’s turkeys combined.

TRUMP TRADING CARDs No. 10 CRAPTAIN AMERICA.

They’re the new Donald Trump NFT Collectibles! Which Superhero does he see himself as today…? ‘NO. 10. Craptain America

TRUMP TRADING CARDs No. 9 WHITE PANTHER

NO. 9 White Panther. This is the Trump who dines with Nick Fuentes, Ye and calls racists at rallies in Charlottesville ‘very fine people.’

TRUMP TRADING CARDs No. 8 MR. FANTASTIC LOSER

Everybody knows he is the most Fantastic-est Loser in the world. Everybody knows.

TRUMP TRADING CARDs No. 7 CYCLOPS

Yes, the Donald would make an excellent Cyclops. Because a politician has never been more one-eyed.

ON THE SECOND DAY OF CRYPTO.. ELON MUSK!

He’s about as popular as Brussels sprouts right now, and his face is shinier than a Christmas bauble, it’s Elon Musk!

TRUMP TRADING CARDs NO. 6 JUDGE DREADFUL

This Trump constantly shouts ‘I am the Law!’ This is because he STILL thinks he’s the country’s leading lawmaker. Even when he voted out of office.

Trump Trading Cards No.5 COVFEFE!

We see him as a slightly overweight bloke who likes to sit on the toilet tweeting. But - hey. If he wants to play the ‘Make Him A Superhero’ game… let’s play

TRUMP TRADING CARDs No. 4 DOCTOR VERY STRANGE

Given his medicinal genius (the Donald told us all to drink bleach to cure Covid, remember?) he is Doctor Very Strange…

Trump Trading Cards No.1 The Incredible Bellend!

We see him as a slightly overweight bloke who would sit on the toilet all-day, tweeting. But - hey. If he wants to play the ‘Make Him A Superhero’ game… let’s play.

FTX collapses then Terra Luna… is SBF to blame for everything?

US Federal Prosecutors are finally investigating muppet-haired Sam Bankman-Fried, and not just for the collapse of FTX …but, astonishingly, also for market manipulation that caused the Terra Luna crash. But can SBF really responsible for EVERYTHING that’s gone wrong?

TRUMP TRADING CARDs No. 2 The Tangerine Turnip

They’re the new Donald Trump NFT Collectibles! Which Superhero does he see himself as today…? ‘No. 2. The Tangerine Turnip.

SOLANA CLAIM 95% PRICE DROP IS LATE ‘BLACK FRIDAY DEAL’

Solana’s price has dropped by 95% this year… but it’s nothing to be alarmed about, claims Anatoly Yakovenko CEO of Solana.

Santa Upset At Length Of Crypto Naughty List

As we approach the end of 2022, plenty of people have been left dismayed, disappointed and dejected by the year’s crypto-events… and none more than noted red and white bringer of jollity, Santa Claus.

WHY I MISSED SBF’S FAILINGS’, SAYS BAHAMAS ATTORNEY-GENERAL

At a press conference this week, the flustered Attorney-General of the Bahamas, Ryan Pinder defended his country’s regulatory oversight of Sam Bankman-Fried and FTX.

BLACKBEARD THE PIRATE ACCUSES SBF OF ‘GOING TOO FAR’

There were furious scenes in the Bahamas today, as Blackbeard slammed Sam Bankman-Fried for damaging the reputation of the pirates.

SOLANA DOWNGRADED FROM ‘ETHEREUM KILLER’

After dropping over 95% in value in the past twelve months, Solana is no longer the threat to Ethereum that it once was. But CEO Anatoly Yakovenko, is still upbeat.

"THE METAVERSE IS GREAT!!!" SAY GRATEFUL PARENTS

One mother, Janice Relieved, said: ‘I just love the Metaverse! It’s such a ridiculously bad experience that my children are actually asking not to go on their screens for once.’