Category: Uncategorised
SPOT THE DIFFERENCE GENSLER 2
Gary Gensler on fining 16 Wall Street firms $1.1 billion for record-keeping failures
What Else Could SBF stand for?
Sam Bankman-Fried… a man so famous — and now so infamous — he’s often known only by his initials, SBF.
FTX CRASH KILLS IRONY
Amidst the many victims of the FTX crash, one of the most famous has been irony, which suffered a grievous attack in recent days.
Do Kwon Thanks FTX: ‘You’ve made me look competent!’
Not long after FTX filed for bankruptcy, to our great surprise Planet Crypto received a call from noted on-the-run crypto-crim Do Kwon, who wanted to offer his thoughts on what’s been going on.
PASTRADAMUS: ELON MUSK
This week our Pastradamus is the World’s Richest Man. Who proves he’s not only rich in his pocket, but also in predictive powers
WHAT NEXT FOR SB-F? IT’S… SAM BANKMAN-FRIED CHICKEN
With his time in the crypto-world surely now over, frizzy-bonced-numpty Sam Bankman-Fried will be forced to look for an alternative career. In an exclusive report, Planet Crypto can reveal that he’s thinking of opening a restaurant — and we got a sneak peek at its menu.
THE LOST TWEETS OF DONALD TRUMP
Now Elon’s promising to relax censorship on Twitter, Donald Trump may get his account back. It’s been 22 months since the ex-President has sat on the John, tweeting his excrescence. So what gems have we been missing out on?
SAM BANKMAN-FRIED: “I TRIED TO WARN YOU.”
Sam Bankman-Fried has told Planet Crypto that he tried to warn us he was bad at finance.
Gensler Defends SEC For Not Spotting FTX Problems
Following the collapse of FTX, the SEC has received criticism for not spotting problems with the crypto exchange before it got into trouble.
WHY ARE METAVERSE GRAPHICS GARBAGE?
The metaverse seems like a black hole for money… Meta alone has somehow spent $36 billion so far producing something with all the technological sophistication of a Tamagotchi.
Twitter is hiring!
As Head of Censorship, you’ll lead a team of zero people making sure that when it comes to hate, misinformation and the downright twisted, Twitter is happy to treat it all as free speech...
THE SOLANA SAGA WEB 3.0 READY PHONE
Solana, the unreliable blockchain that’s gone down 8 times this year, is launching the Solana Saga, a web 3.0 ready phone. So what will it be like? Given Solana’s regular outages, Planet Crypto imagines Solana Saga adverts to be like this…
GOOD ELON VS BAD ELON: TWITTER PURCHASE WEEK!!
Just a week after Elon Musk took over at Twitter, and massive changes are afoot… But which Elon is going to shape the company: the Good Elon, or the Bad Elon..?
Setting The Twitter Bird Free
After his takeover of Twitter was finally done, billionaire nut-job Elon Musk tweeted ‘the bird is freed…’
FINALLY WE FIND OUT WHAT FREAKS THE KING OF HORROR…
FINALLY WE FIND OUT WHAT FREAKS THE KING OF HORROR…IT’S PAYING $20 A MONTH FOR TWITTER!!
Finding Do Kwon Some handy hints
No-one can find Do Kwon. Not Interpol, not the bounty hunters, not the journalists. He’s not in South Korea. He’s not in Singapore. The man behind the failed Terra USD stablecoin is proving harder to find than lost car keys in The Bermuda Triangle.
A New Crypto Scam Is Created Every 4 Minutes… Leading Scammer Explains All…
A report into online security in the crypto world has revealed that there’s a new crypto scam created every four minutes. Keen to investigate further, Planet Crypto talked to a representative of the Association of Smart Scammers.
Musk Wants Twitter To Be Like A ‘Digital Town Square’
Elon Musk has said that he wants Twitter to be like ‘a digital town square’. But what does he mean by that?
WILL LOGAN PAUL BE THE CRAPTIES’ NFT COLLECTOR OF THE YEAR?
It’s been a tough year for NFTs, with trading down 97% from January 2022. But that’s led to many Potential nominees for the Crapties’ NFT Collector of the Year…
ELON BRINGS A WASHBASIN TO TWITTER TO MAKE A BAD PUN. …HE NEEDS TO CLEAN UP HIS ACT.
On the day he took over Twitter, Elon Musk walked into the offices, carrying a kitchen sink. The reason? ..to make a bad pun in a tweet: ‘entering Twitter HQ - let that sink in.’
ELON BUYS TWITTER AFTER ALL HOW COME?
In one of his trademark changes of heart, Elon Musk has decided to go through with his purchase of Twitter after all. How did he come to that conclusion?
Mashinsky Remains Fat Cat, while Investors have Lean Pickings
Celsius’ CEO Alex Mashinsky faces fury this week, after it became known that he’d cashed out $10 million in the week before the company’s collapse (and his wife $2 million).. whilst his angry investors lost their cash. I
N. KOREA FIRES DEADLY MISSILE... WAS DO KWON ITS PAYLOAD?
When North Korea fired a ballistic missile towards Japan this week, it had little to do with the world of crypto… or so you’d think. But after being contacted by a senior Japanese Government official, Planet Crypto discovered a surprising link.
THE BIG INTERVIEW SOLANA OUTAGES EXPLAINED
The Solana blockchain once again suffered an outage this week… It’s the umpteenth time.
SHITCOIN SPOTLIGHT $StopElon
What’s is it? It’s a meme cryptocurrency which was created by some very angry people.