Category: Uncategorised
When Banks Go Bust – Crank Calls Boom!!
As TradFi Flounders, Jerome Powell Gets Pranked by Crypto Callers
IT’S JIM CRAMER’S KISS-OF-DEATH!!
He tipped SVB and Silvergate… What turkey will the World’s Worst Tipster tip NEXT??
It’s Every Treasurer’s Favourite Dance... here's how To Dance To Banking’s Tune!
Learn the moves here!! There’s a new dance craze sweeping the World’s Treasuries… here’s How To Dance To Banking’s Tune.
For F***’S SAKE! F***ING Gordon Ramsay NFTs are minted
2.232 unique Gordon Ramsay NFTs are f***ing minted, each with its own unique F***ing swear-F***ing word. Should you F***ING buy?
Treasury to impound dog as “it may be crypto-friendly.”
Treasury to impound pooch in case it’s crypto-friendly.
CATHIE WOOD BULLISH ON SVB, ...Silvergate, Signature and Credit Suisse
She’s been buying sinking Coinbase on and off all year – what WILL Ark’s Cathie Wood buy next..? ‘I’m tipping Silvergate, Silicon Valley Bank, Signature, and Credit Suisse.’
‘It was definitely Crypto’s Fault’, says Banker who forgot Wife’s Birthday
‘It was Crypto’s Fault’, says Banker who forgot Wife’s Birthday. Are bankers trying to blame Crypto for everything..??
WHO IS MYSTERIOUS NFT COLLECTOR COZOMO DE MEDICI?
Who is the mysterious Collector who gifted LA County Museum 22 NFTs? … is it Snoop Dogg? Snoop says: ‘I dunno; maybe; did I give away all that shizzle?? Who knows.. I was high.’
Trump Trading Cards No.39 Donder Woman!!
They’re the new Donald Trump NFT Collectibles! Which Superhero does he see himself as today…? ‘No. 39. Donder Woman!!
ROBERT KIYOSAKI’S WORLD OF WOE
Rich Dad Poor Dad, Robert Kiyosaki, is always banging on about how the system is going to collapse, and how we’re all going to lose our savings. So we’ve given him his own column. This week in his World of Woe, he talks about how we’re all going to be killed by Birds.
BUM WITH NO SAVINGS PITIES INVESTORS’ LACK OF CHOICES
‘Man, it must be hard,’ says a Man With No Savings, as he pities Investors’ Lack of Choices.
IS THE FDIC TRYING TO KILL CRYPTO
FDIC denies shutting Crypto Banks to kill DeFi. They were shut because of, er, the flooring.
DOJ FINALLY PURSUES TERRA
310 DAYS AFTER TERRA COLLAPSE, DOJ FINALLY LAUNCHES PROBE ‘DESPITE HAVING A LOT ON.’
BIS’ Agustin Carstens Recipe For Disaster!
After cooking up a storm by saying the banking sector was better than Crypto, the head of the BIS shows us how to eat his words… in his latest recipe for disaster.
DOH! CATHIE WOOD FORGETS TO CANCEL SUBSCRIPTION ATO COINBASE SHARES
Another Month, another massive purchase of Coinbase shares by Ark… Why? Planet Crypto uncovers the REAL reason why Ark’s Cathie Wood
BIDEN PLEDGES TO BLAME CRYPTO FOR BANKING CRISIS
President Biden promised to do ‘whatever is needed’ to pin the blame for the bankers’ screw-ups on Crypto.
Trump Trading Cards No.38 The Trumpinator!!!
They’re the new Donald Trump NFT Collectibles! Which Superhero does he see himself as today…? ‘No. 38. The Trumpinator!!!
Trump Trading Cards No.37 Storm
They’re the new Donald Trump NFT Collectibles! Which Superhero does he see himself as today…? ‘No. 37. Storm
Trump Trading Cards No.36 Superdon - Satsuma-man
They’re the new Donald Trump NFT Collectibles! Which Superhero does he see himself as today…? ‘No. 36. Superdon - Satsuma-man
Trump Trading Cards No.35 Robbin'
They’re the new Donald Trump NFT Collectibles! Which Superhero does he see himself as today…? ‘No. 35. Robbin'
RICH DAD, POOR DAD, PARANOID PREPPER DAD!
For over a year, writer and entrepreneur Robert Kiyosaki has warned followers to prepare for global financial meltdown and an end to the dollar.
ROBINHOOD FRUSTRATED BY RED TAPE
Legendary outlaw, Robin Hood, has criticised the amount of regulation imposed on his band of merry men.
‘ORDINALS ARE ORDURE,’ FUME BITCOIN MAXIMALISTS
Bitcoin maximalists have hit out at the growing ‘Ordinals’ craze that has seen artists embed their work as NFTs within transactions on the blockchain.
Titanic NFT’s aren’t real artifacts
Small boy points out that NFTs of objects recovered from the titanic aren’t the actual objects recovered from the Titanic.
NEW CRAMER ETFS PUT THE ‘FUN’ IN ‘FUNDS’
Two exchange-traded funds (ETFs) have been launched that trade for and against the advice of stockpicker and host of Mad Money, Jim Cramer.
Silvergate, Crypto’s Favorite banker, is bust.
So where store your money? Under the mattress at Mattress Bank!!
SPOTIFY TO GIVE NFT CREATORS EXCLUSIVE PLAYLISTS!
Spotify have announced a partnership with NFT creators that will allow holders of certain NFTs to access exclusive playlists. What customised songs NFT owners can expect to match their artwork?
AVA LABS’ CEO SAYS SBF HAS DONE ‘IMMEASURABLE DAMAGE’!
Planet Crypto launches a ‘NO SHIT SHERLOCK’-alert, after AVA Labs’ CEO says SBF has done ‘immeasurable damage’!
WAS THE WORLD’S FIRST COURT IN THE META-V ANY GOOD?
Colombia became one of the first countries to hold a court hearing in the metaverse. So was it any good? Planet Crypto’s metaverse correspondent, Tex Upport, watched on...
UG! CAVEMEN AT IMF DECLARE CRYPTO IS ‘HEAP BAD’
The cavemen at the International Monetary Fund have declared that ‘all progress is bad’ and that crypto risks angering the Gods.
Shock As Solana Blockchain Works Perfectly for 24 Hours
Crypto fans were stunned as Solana worked perfectly for 24 hours this weekend. The Solana CEO apologised and said normal service would be resumed ‘as soon as outages could be rebuilt...
CRAIG WRIGHT’S BELIEVE IT OR NOT Lionel Messi
Australian Craig Wright wants to take the credit for Bitcoin’s invention… But spookily, when asked to provide evidence …he can’t provide any… So: Can we believe him… or not?
Save our scammers!!!
Save Our Scammers! Spare a thought for Scammers, who are demanding Welfare, now their revenue has fallen 46%
The Secret Diary Of Sam Bankman-Fried Day 59: Banned From Devices?! No Way!!
Exclusive Extracts From The Diary of Sam Bankman-Fried, Aged 30 and ¾! On Day 59 – SBF laments at being banned from devices!!!
DATE THE PARIS HILTON WAY!!* IN HER NEW METAVERSE GAME
Paris Hilton’s New Metaverse Game promises to help people find love… But what does Paris Hilton know about dating…??
Trump Trading Cards No.30 The Bulk
They’re the new Donald Trump NFT Collectibles! Which Superhero does he see himself as today…? ‘No. 30. The Bulk.!!‘
Trump Trading Cards No.31 The Riddler
They’re the new Donald Trump NFT Collectibles! Which Superhero does he see himself as today…? ‘No. 31. The Riddler!!‘
Trump Trading Cards No.32 Night Scrawler
They’re the new Donald Trump NFT Collectibles! Which Superhero does he see himself as today…? ‘No. 32. The Night Scrawler!!‘
MAKERS OF CANNALAND ANNOUNCE LATEST VENTURE: ‘CRACKLAND
Buoyed by the success of Cannaland - the cannabis-themed metaverse - Cannaverse Technologies are to launch a new venture - Crackland.. It’s smoking.
DON’T CALL HIM ‘GARY’… CALL HIM ‘THE ENFORCER'
After hunting down Paxos and Kraken this last week, Gary Gensler has suddenly started playing tough… in fact so tough – he will only answer to the name ‘The Enforcer’
GENSLER RETORT TO CRYPTO CRITICS: ‘MY DOOR IS ALWAYS OPEN’
Gary Gensler says his door is always open to Crypto service providers… Unfortunately it’s surrounded by a minefield and a moat full of bullsharks.
The Bitcoin chart was greeted with frenzied excitement this week when a rare cross shape appeared in the charts… and Planet Crypto’s market analyst, Andy Graf, attempts to explain all...
She has ambitions to become the Queen of the metaverse. And now Paris Hilton has added ‘Parisland’, an imaginary reality show to her roster...
The SEC’s Gary Gensler and Hester Pierce are to pursue couples therapy following a bitter argument over how to bring up their adopted child, Crypto...
The Big Interview Yuga Labs
Last week, Wylie Aronow, one of the co-founders of Yuga Labs and co-creators of the Bored Ape Yacht Club NFTs, refuted long-standing accusations that the artwork contains Nazi imagery...
TRUMP TRADING CARDs No.26 Dock Ock
They’re the new Donald Trump NFT Collectibles! Which Superhero does he see himself as today…? ‘No. 26. Doc Ock.