Category: Uncategorised
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How to Avoid Doing Jury Duty on Tedious Ripple vs SEC case…
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BETTER IN THE BEDROOM THAN THE BOARDROOM….
THE SECRET DIARY OF CAROLINE ELLISON AGED 28¼ (AS LEAKED TO PLANET CRYPTO)
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Gensler Suffers Withdrawals After Being ‘Addicted To Suing’
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Apple’s New Headset looks like a pro-ski mask..
But will it perform a Triple Somersault or fall off a cliff?
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NEW A.I. ‘GIRLFRIENDS’ ARE TOO REALISTIC
Complains Man Who Says He Was Expected To Read Girlfriend’s Mind
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SPORTS DESK The SEC’s Gary Gensler Referees Football Match
Everybody Gets Sent off. Nobody Understands the Rules. Always ends in Penalties: of $1.4m.
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JOBS PAGE! EXPLORERS WANTED! AT BINANCE!
Adventurers Needed To Discover New Territories; As Binance’ve Been Banned From Everywhere Else!
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Binance CEO Denies Wrongdoing, Whilst Stroking Sinister White Cat
The Founder of Binance defended his company this week, after it was hit by a staggering 13 different lawsuits.
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A.I. HORROR! World Urges Kanye Not To Use A.I. In Case It Learns From Him
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EXCLUSIVE! Biden Gives 10 Reasons Why Crypto Must Be Blamed For Debt Crisis
‘It’s all Crypto’s fault,’ proclaims the President. Sure it is.
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AAAG! A.I. TERROR!!! : Tom Hanks Says Future Films Will Be Performed by A.I..
So New Vin Diesel Films Which Seem to Last An Eternity Might Be Released for All Eternity..
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Bitcoin Congestion!
‘Get off our Patch!’: Sloths and Slugs Complain That Bitcoin Network Makes Them Look Speedy
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Banking Crisis! Jerome Powell Mystified By His Pants Repeatedly Catching Fire
Chairman of the Fed, Jerome Powell, has been left baffled by a series of fires in his pants.
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A.I. TERROR! Zuckerberg’s Billion Dollar A.I. Gamble Will Transform The Workplace.
‘Humans Will All Be Redundant… At Meta.’
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Regulation Shambles!! Why Is SEC So Keen To Drive Everyone Offshore?
Is Chair Gensler A Travel Agent In Disguise?
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$4.7bn Financial Scandal!!
Holy Mashinsky! Saintly Celsius CEO Maintains His Innocence and Purity
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A.I. Mustn’t Be Controlled By ‘Bad Actors.’”
So The Rock & Jason Statham Put Under House Arrest
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PANIC!! - AS IT IS REVEALED THAT A.I. IS MORE INTELLIGENT THAN HUMANS
RELIEF!! - AS IT IS REVEALED THAT THOSE HUMANS ARE ONLY KANYE & PARIS HILTON.
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ELON MUSK CALLS SPACEX FLOP ‘EXCITING’
WHAT ARE HIS OTHER GREAT MOMENTS IN EXPLORATION HISTORY?
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Half-Man Half-Robot Zuckerberg Says ‘There Will Still Be Work When A.I. Takes Over’
‘You Can All Make Me Hats Made Of Gold.’
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William Shatner Launches ‘Quantum Physics’ NFT
Actor tries to explain world’s most complicated science
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COINBASE DENIES ‘DOING AN FTX’ WITH BAHAMAS BASE
After huffing, puffing and moaning about the US regulatory system, in the past week, Coinbase has stunned the world by launching a global exchange in the Bahamas.
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Gensler Denies He’s Over-Reaching.. ..Before Crowning Himself King of England.
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BANKING CRISIS RETURNS!
Crypto Bigwigs Blast ‘Shitbanks’: “Bank Accounts are Gambling Tokens!”
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SHANGHAI UPDATE IS TEDIOUS
Sleep Deprived?? Follow Ethereum Upgrades to Guarantee Good Night’s Sleep’ say Scientists.
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Queue Of Prosecutors Waiting To Charge Binance Reaches 16 Miles Long
Longer Than Queue Of Mourners For Queen
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APPLE HIDES BITCOIN WHITE PAPER IN MacOS SOFTWARE
Irony is dead this week – as Craig Wright, who has been accused of trying to steal the creation of the Bitcoin White Paper, now accuses MacOS of stealing the Bitcoin White paper.
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Williams F1 team to be Partnered by Kraken Exchange!
Does this means Kraken, too, is Not As Good as its Competitors, Slow and Prone to Crash?
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Petty Crime To Surge in Montenegro...
...as Terra Investors Fight For a Night in the Cells With Do Kwon
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Is Jerome Powell Practising QE By Stealth??
Is Jerome Powell propping up the banks with QE by stealth? Find out in Planet Crypto’s exclusive Big Interview!!
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Elon replaces Twitter Dove with Mutt All Bird Owners to follow suit..
Influential Elon Musk swaps the Twitter bird for a Shiba Inu – and Aviculturalists follow… swapping their birds for mutts. With mixed results.
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TRUMP TRADING CARDS NO. 40 SUPREMACISTMAN!
They’re the new Donald Trump NFT Collectibles! Which Superhero does he see himself as today…? ‘No. 40. Supremacistman